| By Rachel Monique Maskell

Why’d they have to go?

Hola Bella,

How are you?

Costa Rica was great. Lovely to have a time to decompress, relax, and trust that all is well. But getting back home has proven to be a reintegration experience I wasn’t expecting.

In my adult life Easter weekend has been rife with loss. I feel it so clearly mimics this symbolic time of death and rebirth, not without it’s pain and deep questioning of “why?”

About five years ago I was at the most beautiful wedding that ended with a tragic and unexpected death of one of the groomsmen.

About three years ago is when I first found out about my dad’s cancer. He died 5 months later.

And just three days ago a friend, my daughter's Godfather and my husband’s business partner passed away unexpectedly. I am heartbroken and for the first time the tears are flowing like rivers writing this letter to you.

I thought I was going to write about plastic but I can’t help but wonder “why?” Why all men? Why are two of them the most spiritual and grounded guys I knew? Why?

I’m not sure there will ever be an answer, but I know there is change involved. An evolution, a transition, a death to rebirth…

In art history class today my professor began with the horror stories and images of babies born after their mothers were exposed to depleted uranium. I could barely look at the images. (Just google ‘depleted uranium birth defects iraq’ and look at the images that come up). Our government knowingly killing 100,000s of children in Iraq for control of oil? This information just compounded my sadness today and my heart aches desperately.

There is so much change needed and so easy to feel despair. To grab a drink and disappear.

But as I sit and write I wonder if I am willing to do my part? To change? To stop putting the responsibility on someone else and take a step?...

and yet, there is no other choice than, “YES”...we are running out of time.

Big love to you as we spin around together in the vast darkness of the Universe.